Today I did a little rant on my Snapchat (Bola_Sol) about 3 things I have learned from being in my 20s and I felt compelled to put my thoughts on my blog in a more formal manner.
First things first, not every weekday of your twenties should be spent working in a fixed environment within a 9-5 format. This is not me telling you to quit your job without a plan but I do think it’s key that you assess how you feel about working for an employer versus working for yourself. A lot of the time we get settled into work after we are done with our course of education/learning and we don’t really want to get a job. A part of me thinks that the reason we don’t actually want to get a job is because we aren’t always ready to accept the reality that comes with adulthood so we attempt to avoid it. However, if we want that future house or company or investment then we have to be willing to get up and work for it. That being said, you don’t always have to work for an employer to do that. You can start your own business, however, I think it is greatly underestimated how hard this can be. As I mature in my understanding of how businesses and finances within a company works, I actually become more grateful for HR departments. I am currently self-employed and I have to keep on top of everything because it is only I am the only person liable to the taxman. I also don’t work 5 days a week and a result of that, I do have some days off in the weekday. This sounds like heaven until a streak of laziness hits you and you end up not being very productive. Working for you takes more discipline than its given credit for. However, what free time does is give you a perspective on what you are willing to work for. When it’s possible to take some days off to go travelling, work on your own projects then you can see what lifestyle works for you. A 9-5 is not a bad thing, what’s key is identifying the structure you want for your life.
Secondly, don’t lay on your back all throughout your twenties. I’m very serious about this. There are things you dreamed of doing when you were a child or a teen and there may still be things you are passionate about now. Maybe you have realised that some of these passions are hard to ignite but don’t let the harsh realities of the world douse your fire. It is beautiful that someone can come along and compliment you and tell you that you are intelligent, beautiful and gracious but if you turn the mirror on yourself, you’ll see you were already all of those things before the compliments came in. Of course, there’s no need to be big headed about the characteristics that make you-you but be clear about who you are before somebody comes in and defines your identity for you. The reason I mentioned your childhood dreams is because I question whether laying on your back was one of them. It certainly wasn’t mine. The more pressing question is, are we taking control of our destiny? We often let a man come in and start to subconsciously infiltrate some of our ideologies into his own but that only serves him. When will you serve yourself? When will you say, these are my values and there are certain things I’m not willing to budge on. The one thing we do at times is hold a low expectation and succumb to their needs. In a relationship, compromise is important but one person’s needs should not overshadow the others, that is not love. Also, operating solely out of lust is usually futile. Operating out of lines such as “I just want to make you feel good.” needs to be turned into the question of “Are you sure you just don’t want to make YOURSELF feel good?” Once again, who is he serving? You, him or both of you? Instead of us laying down I think we should sit up and have conversations. I think we should nurture each other’s passions and pursuits instead of creating space for the activity of coitus. If that man is more interested in laying down than he is sitting up for conversation, he is there to serve himself. Men have been serving themselves for generations. Stop laying down for him and start standing up for your damn self.
Lastly, realise that not every passion will involve you making money. Due to my alter ego being called ANTI-STRUGGLE I can sometimes create a very warped mindset that everything has to do with money but it really doesn’t. At times I think I want to charge people for my time when in reality I just don’t want my time to be wasted. This is actually why a lot of people charge, people, don’t always respect the resource that is energy and time. However, some things I have learned to do for the love of it instead of for the money. A bit like this blog. I make no money from it but I truly enjoy writing freely on here. I enjoy connecting with so many of you. Social media has transitioned everything into a numbers game but just like some of your passions, you don’t have to see it that way. Some things should be done out of passion instead of profit. At times, these are the things we end up loving the most.
I’m hosting an event in the next two weeks, it’s all about money so I hope you can make it. More information can be found here.