There is nothing like a friend who supports your endeavours and claps when you win. However, one thing I’ve come to realise is some of those supporters have a lifespan that is time sensitive. Some are only willing to support us to a particular point. This point could be until things don’t seem to add up in their life or until you keep winning one time too many. A thing I have come to say to myself is, “It’s not always about you.” So many people are fighting battles we may or we may not know so when I feel like a friendship has run its course, I tell myself that there may be some challenges bigger than me that I can no longer carry forward. In most of these situationships, I detach myself in the lightest way possible by just gently letting them go. No malice, no harsh words exchanged, I just get up and go. Believe you me, this is hard. The easiest thing to do is to put your weight on them and express how you feel but it’s key to remove yourself without causing harm. They say hurt people hurt people so I ask myself, when does the cycle end? Eventually, we have to choose to be the person that realises that no one is being served by releasing more negativity into the world. Everything we do has a consequence and I’m learning to take responsibility for that.
In times where I have lost friends, I have sometimes questioned whether or not I am a good person. It’s very easy to do, to question yourself and your worth based on encounters we go through with loved ones. I have learnt to reflect on those that are still in my life and not only am I grateful, but I remember that I am a great person. We will not gel with everybody in this life but we cannot measure ourselves against everyone’s individual expectations of us. That is a very dangerous measure. Do not give power to others to define you, give that power to yourself instead.
The more I experience the more I realise that living in my own truth is so important and that just because a friend doesn’t live my truth, it does not make theirs a lie. It’s that simple. We must all live our individual truths without trying to force it on others. Every day I become more accepting of human beings, remembering that our journeys are so unique that it’s not even worth comparing.